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Drunk on love

When I’m in love or even have feelings for someone, I lose my intelligence. See I’m a smart girl. I have been on honor roll through all my school career, I had perfect attendance since 7th grade, and now I have a full tuition scholarship to my college.
But then when guys are involved… I’m a whoooooole different person. I looked at old stuff I wrote when I was in love and wow… Can you say stupid? The worst part is I let these guys get in the way of my education. I worry more about them then the work I need to complete. The twist to the whole story is THEY NEVER HAVE FEELINGS BACK. Well they never have the SAME feelings back. I’ve never had a mutual crush or love. I always cared waaaaay more. I cared waaaaay too much. I feel stupid. I don’t really regret it, I just I could forget anything happened. But hey, it’s a lesson in life right? No matter how embarrassed or depressed I am about everything, it made me who I am today. That’s all that matters… Right?
Moral of the story: when you have feelings it’s like your drunk. You act stupid but then once you sober up you regret everything that happened at first then accept it.

Talk to me baby

I talked to an old friend today and I remember I got really passionate about my ex boyfriend. My ex was great… Well when we were together. He would give me surprise kisses, tell me I was beautiful, hugs, and other romantic things… When we were together.
But then when we were apart… I hated it. He would text/message me then quit out the blue. He was the slowest replier ever. He talked to his friends way more than me. It was really hard on me because we were in different counties so we only saw each only on weekends. So I missed A LOT.
Now what’s my point? To rant about my ex? No. Just to say how I feel to become better.
I want a guy to talk to me. Tell about yourself. Your day. Your life. What you hate in your life. What’s your hobbies? What’s your fears? Do you like it when I poke your belly button? Regrets? Plans for the future? What do you like in bed? Embarrassing moments? What you’re proud of?
Baby just tell me. Tell me everything honey. I’m here for you. I want to feel important. That I matter to you. It may sound stupid but just tell me anything you’re thinking. I love getting to know anyone especially if they have feelings for me and I feel the same way. I’ll stay up all night to talk. Call me weird but I just want to talk to you baby.

Bright side

I don’t have to worry
I don’t have to be jealous
I don’t have to care
You haven’t texted me?
Oh well
You give me short replies when we talk?
Oh well
I’m not dressed up when you see me?
Oh well
You’re just a friend
Our past is locked in chest of memories
The key is hidden deep inside my heart
Deep deep down
For they can never see light again

It’s not my job to be there
To love you
To do anything
But be a friend
I’m free
I breathe the fresh crisp air
Of singlehood
Until I find someone
Someone that needs me
Needs everything I do
Worry
Jealousy
Care

You can’t see me

I get interrupted all the time
No one laughs at my jokes
I get left out all the time
Most of the time the jokes go too far
No one talks to me anymore
When they do talk to me,
They always end it abruptly
It’s like I’m an option
Like I’m a second choice to people
Sometimes I believe it
I believe everything
Few times it’s gotten to me
So much I think
I think about stuff
Why am I here?
What is the reason for my existence?
Who really needs me?
When will I ever be happy/appreciated for once?
How will my absence affect others?
Then somthing happens
Someone tells me they love me
They love the things I do
They love the things I say
They tell they love me
They hug me
Nice tight hugs
You may think a little compliment is nothing
But to someone who has come to a dead end
You give them hope
Hope to turn around and find the main road again
Just show a little appreciation
A little love
A little affection could save a big a part of your life
Your attention can bring light to someone invisible

I’m guilty of worrying too much

So I decided one day to sit down and talk to myself

I’m not crazy for your information

I just asked myself a few questions

To help me not to be anxious

Not to be so upset

Basically not to care

They were simple questions

Will it matter?

They don’t want to be with me

They don’t want to go places with me

They simply dislike me

Does it matter?

I’m not like her, them, and the others

I’m just eccentric

I’m a loner

Why should I care?

That I wasn’t the prettiest

That I wasn’t the smartest

That I wasn’t liked by anyone

When I’m 30

Starting my practice

Married to my one and only

Blessed with a few kids

Living a stable life

Will all these situations matter then?

And the answer is…

No. No. No!

I sit back and smile

I may be going through hell now

But it won’t matter soon

All these misfortunes will just be stories

Stories how I got so strong

I could tell these to my children, patients, new friends

I just have to accept that these bad times

Will just make good stories later

Moral of the story

A bad life is just a good story