I was…

Kid Ink. ;) man candy Monday.

Our past blocks me from being from him
I still remember everything
I mean
E.V.E.R.Y.T.H.I.N.G.
I want to start over
With him. :)
He’s drawing me in
With those eyes
That smile
Oh my god
But something is holding me back
For the longest time I didn’t know why
Why I couldn’t get that certain feeling
Butterflies soaring in my tummy
Maybe we’re supposed to be friends?
Nah
No friend looks THAT good
While making me THAT happy
Nah
I want to be with you
But I can’t get that feeling
Well not all the way
Then I realize what it is
Hope
Hope that our past will come back alive
Hope that our feelings will be the same
At the same time too
Hope our goodbye was temporary
But I know for a fact
A damn fact
That we’re over
Done with
Never bloom again
I have accepted it’s over
You’re happy
She’s happy
I’m happy
We’re friends
…I think
But my hope hasn’t died yet
It’s dying though
Just a long painful death
I wish I could put it down like an animal
All it is doing is hurting me
Hurting me and him
I want him to be happy
With me
I want me to be happy
With him
I want me and him
None of us
And that hopeless hope

I’m guilty of worrying too much

So I decided one day to sit down and talk to myself

I’m not crazy for your information

I just asked myself a few questions

To help me not to be anxious

Not to be so upset

Basically not to care

They were simple questions

Will it matter?

They don’t want to be with me

They don’t want to go places with me

They simply dislike me

Does it matter?

I’m not like her, them, and the others

I’m just eccentric

I’m a loner

Why should I care?

That I wasn’t the prettiest

That I wasn’t the smartest

That I wasn’t liked by anyone

When I’m 30

Starting my practice

Married to my one and only

Blessed with a few kids

Living a stable life

Will all these situations matter then?

And the answer is…

No. No. No!

I sit back and smile

I may be going through hell now

But it won’t matter soon

All these misfortunes will just be stories

Stories how I got so strong

I could tell these to my children, patients, new friends

I just have to accept that these bad times

Will just make good stories later

Moral of the story

A bad life is just a good story