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Problem solving

Don’t just move to a new place and expect for your problems to be solved Don’t depend on someone else to finally make you happy
Don’t rely on substances in order to feel like you’re in control
You know why?
Because no matter
Where you go
Who you’re with
What you took
There are some demons that will never die
They will always
Follow you to your new home
Surface in your relationship
Reappear when you’re “normal”
Those demons are embedded into your mind and soul
To release yourself of your problems
You have to face them
You have to solve them
You have to move on
It’s hard
It’s hard as hell actually
But don’t you want to be happy?
Aren’t you tired of being upset?
Do you want to finally feel normal for once?
Just accept what is happening
And what is going to happen
Then go from there
It’s a long journey
But it helps
It really helps
You just need help

Why do you want me?

Is it my smile?
Is it my eyes?
It can’t be my body.
Is it my laugh?
Is it my personality?
Maybe it’s my height.
How do people find me attractive?
I can’t see it.
I just can’t see why people would want to
Cuddle
Kiss
Have sex
Or even date
I’m weird
I’m moody
I’m not even attractive
I’m just me
I like cartoons
I like to dance
I like going out
I like adventure
I don’t smoke
I don’t drink
I don’t sleep around
I have a big butt
I have a big stomach
I have thick thighs
I’m not a size 0 
I’m not a double D
I’m not attractive
I’m just
Me
And only me
I value originality
I don’t want to be anybody
Except me
That’s why I ask
Why do people want me?

Fireworks

The fireworks I used to love are just dwindling in the midnight sky.
The fireworks that used to excite me, just don’t satisfy my needs.
The fireworks I used to try to see every chance I got… Are now the one thing I try to avoid.
I don’t feel the same when I see them.
I feel a little joy that quickly dies.
I give a somber smile to the atmosphere while I watch the show with my eyes filled with agony.
I’m getting older.
I’m starting to realize what is in the universe around me.
And
It scares the hell out of me.
I just want to forget about all the flashing lights.
I just want to indulge in the darkness.
Listen to my thoughts
The craziness.
Fireworks have left scars on my flesh that just mock my sanity.
But I think I’m addicted to the searing pain.
Pain is my game.
Pain is my drug.
I will never give it up.
I just lay back on the solid earth like a corpse.
The dew covered grass tickles my skin.
I watch the fireworks in horror.
Tears streaming down my face.
I just want this nightmare to end
But I love the pain that flows through my veins.
I don’t like fireworks anymore.

Breath

Breathe in
Breathe out
My breathing is getting quicker
My skin is getting tighter
And baby I’m getting wetter
Breathe in
Breathe out
Kiss me
Bite me
Tease me
Breathe in
Breathe out
Bending over
Spanking with force
Feeling the pain
Breathe in
Breathe out
Taking my clothes off
Taking your clothes off
Clothes spread across the room
Breathe in
Breathe out
You lick
I suck
We’re definitely going to fuck
Breathe in
Breathe out
Tied up and blindfolded
Chains rattling and whips cracking
Pain and pleasure
Breathe in
Breathe out
You know what I like
You know what I love
Anal is what I need
Breathe in
Breathe out
I scream your name
I scream faster
I scream dirty words
Breathe in
Breathe out
I’m close
You’re close
Who will be first?
Breathe in
Breathe out
We’re both happy
We’re both done
We’re both satisfied
Breathe in
Breathe out
I bet you want more

What do you want to see?

Is there any topic you want me to write a poem or rant about? Or is there any sexual pictures you want me to show on here (none of me)? Just let me know. I’ve hit a roadblock on themes/ideas. So message me on anything you want to see. I’ll provide it for you.

Love and Rubber Bands

When two people are in love
It’s like they’re holding a rubber band
I know it sounds stupid but
It’s true
“Hey I like your face and you’re pretty chill”
“I like your face too! You are a fun time. Wanna be my main squeeze?”
“I thought you would never ask”
And that’s how you start a relationship
Now at the beginning they both hold onto the rubber band
It stretches because of the time they’re together
Day by day
Week by week
Month by month
Year by year
Decade by decade
It stretches
And stretches
And stretches
Until one day something happens
Someone lets go
They either
Die
Fall out of love
Deserve better
Whatever
They need to get out
They let go of the rubber band
And for the person holding on
They get hit by the rubber band
Some people can shake it off like nothing
Others feel the sting but once they rub a little dirt on it they’re fine
Sadly there’s the people that can’t shake it off
It just leaves a painful sore
That slowly heals or never does
Then there are people who heal but flinch because they think they’ll get hurt again
Others will never have a rubber band again
I don’t know what’s worse with this
Someone seeing that they’re going to get popped with rubber band
They just stand there and wait
They may do some stuff to get the person to keep holding on
But deep inside they know the truth
They know the pain is coming
They’re just waiting to get hurt
Or is it the ones that are utterly shocked
That when that get popped they just don’t know what when wrong
They try to change things
Like get a different brand of rubber band
Get a bigger one
A smaller one
A colorful one
They just don’t want things to end
Either way it’s sad
Someone always gets hurt in the end no matter what happens
Rubber bands and love hurt

Masks

Happy
Friendly
Outgoing
Bubbly
That’s me
I’m the girl that’s always shining
Always happy
Always smiling
But little do they know
I’m extremely unhappy
I’m angry
I’m upset
I’m jealous
I’m worried
I’m scared
I walk through a crowd smiling
But in my mind it’s like
“They have no idea I’m dying inside”
I sit in a room full of people
“I’m going crazy by the minute”
They ask me how I’m doing
“Help me”
I’m happy
I’m friendly
I’m outgoing
I’m bubbly
That’s me

Play your role

I need a manly man
Yeah I like when a guy can be sensitive
Show emotions
Deep conversations
But I don’t want a bitch
I’m the one with the vagina
So I can act like it!
I don’t like
Prissy
Moody
Push over
Little boys
Be strong
Take control
Be assertive
Make decisions
Know what you want most of the time
Put me back in my place when I’m out of line
Do things that require your strength
Be stronger than me
Wrestle with me
Pin me down
Don’t hold back during sex
Don’t stop because you think you’re hurting me
Pain is good
I like pain
If I don’t feel pain
You’re not doing it right
Don’t talk to me like you’re my mom
Talk to me like
You like me
You love me
You want me
Don’t get a damn attitude with me
Control your anger
Never call me a bitch
When you’re the actual bitch
I like how you care about how you dress
But honey don’t wear jeans that are tighter than mine
Or wear jeans that look like mine
Hold me when I’m scared
Kiss my neck and even bite
Remember
Pain is good
Listen to my problems
Deal with me
Argue with me
But keep it private
Grab me
Squeeze me
Rub me
Hug me
You’re the man for a reason
Now act like it

Hello my name is Shaquona and I have an addiction

Love is like gambling
I feel like I’m at a slot machine
Putting all my time into it
But I get nothing
Finally I get tired and give up
And you know what happens?
The next person who’s playing
Wins
I’m not upset with the winner
I’m not upset with slot machine
I’m upset I wasted my time
I’m upset when I knew I wasn’t going to win and I still kept trying
I’m upset that I don’t get anything to enjoy
I get memories
Yeah that’s great
Don’t get me wrong
I was happy
I got a little high when I was playing
But now the memories burn me
I get a scar every time I remember
Now I’m sober
I have addiction
To love
There’s no one for me
So I wait
I’m lonely
I’m tired
I’m bored
But it’s good for me
“Love yourself before you love someone else”
I’m getting comfortable with myself
I’m trying to be strong
I will bear through this
“Don’t go for someone else if your heart is still with another”
I’m done looking
If someone wants me that bad
Come get me
I still have love for someone else
But not enough to stop my future with a new beau
“Move on. You can’t make someone want you.”
90% of me is over you
I don’t love you
I don’t want you
You’re a friend
10% of me loves you
Loves you with all my heart
Has hope we’ll have something one day
Thinks you still want me
But you know what 10%?
It’s bullshit
You’ll get hurt again
And no one would be able to catch you
You’re just setting yourself for disaster
He’s gone
He doesn’t want you
He will never want you
You’re just another friend
You guys will never have anything
MOVE
THE FUCK
ON

It’s a constant war with my addiction
But now I’m in rehab
Hi
My name is Shaquona
And I have a addiction
My drug is love
And I want to be clean

I am strong

I don’t miss you
I’m not in love with you
I miss someone being there for me
I like you
I love you
But just not IN love
I’ve went through the stages
Denial
Anger
Bargaining
And now I’m stuck in depression and acceptance.
Sometimes I’m depressed because I’m lonely
I miss always having someone to talk to, laugh, and argue
I miss someone dealing with me
I miss someone kissing,cuddling,touching me, and even having sex with
I miss knowing someone wants me
I miss that
I miss this
With the acceptance i realized
I don’t miss you
I just miss the role you played
I just think of you because you were the closet to what I wanted
I’m hopeful
I don’t think I will relapse
I don’t think I’ll go back
I will be over you
I will not think about you
I will not talk about you
I will not love you
I’m moving on
For I won’t hurt anymore
I am strong